The Cranky Cow

I thought that, by leaving Starbucks, I was leaving behind 'The Crazy Bitch.' Well I was right in thinking that. But she must have a sister up north because shes been replaced by 'The Cranky Cow.'

From our kitchen window we get a view of a house and in that house resides 'The Cranky Cow.' She seems to randomly come out of her house, scream about something or other (really loudly) before hobbling back inside again. Yesterday she screamed at a man because he parked across the road from her house. According to her the whole road is part of her front garden. So she hobbled towards his car screaming, 'Get out!! GET OUT!! Get out of my garden!!!' As she slowly got nearer the man decided it was better to heed her words and he drove off.

At night (sometime around 3 in the morning) she had another screaming fit (I don't know if screaming really describes it, its more like a loud strange angry mumbling sound with high pitch screetches dispersed throughout). It turned out the next day that all my flatmates as well as myself had heard her despite the fact that we were all in our rooms trying to get to sleep and the kitchen windows/kitchen door wasn't open. Additionally it turned out that none of us understood what she was screaming/angry mumbling about.

Today she had a visitor. He was sitting in her garden with her. But then she started screaming at him to go into her house. He carried on sitting in his seat. So she got up, yanked his seat from under him and took it indoors. Then she came out, screamed something else (again in her strange angry mumbling way) and the man eventually gave in and went indoors.

I can see its going to be an interesting year, especially since I get to watch her exploits from the comfort of my kitchen. I just hope I don't ever end up on the receiving end of her angry mumbling.